Will God absolve me if I decide to end my marriage? If I end my marriage, will God be angry with me and refuse to heed my prayers? One of the inquiries that Christians ask each other the most frequently is, “does God forgive divorce?”
What kind of response does God have for Christians who have gone through a divorce?
Let’s look at what God and His Scriptures have to say about the dynamics of divorce and its effects on people’s lives.
The Lord’s Stance On Divorce
God dislikes divorce. He loathes it since it inevitably leads to betrayal of the sacred marital vows that two people have made in His presence and the harm this causes to the spouses and their progeny (Mal. 2:14-16).
The Bible makes an exception for divorce only because of the fall of man.
All Christians should share God’s aversion to divorce and seek it out only when all other options have been exhausted because divorce is a surrender to man’s immorality and was never part of God’s initial design for marriage.
A union can endure even the gravest crimes with God’s assistance.
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
Divorces are unfortunate, but God understands they keep happening because they involve two fallible human beings.
He put protections in the Old Testament to make sure that divorcees would be safe:
“If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her, and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:1–4)
Jesus Christ, however, has made it exceedingly clear that the reason for the foundation of such rules was the harshness of people’s hearts and not God’s explicit will:
“Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning…'” (Matthew 19:8)
The Grounds For Divorce As Mentioned In The Scriptures
Divorce is a touchy subject, and many folks don’t know when it’s acceptable for Christians to separate from their spouses.
If the Bible forbids divorce, many Christians think that a divorce is unattainable, no matter the circumstances.
But that’s not how it works at all. Divorce has four biblical justifications:
Adultery
“‘The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.” (Malachi 2:16)
Since the marriage vows include an agreement to be monogamous to one another, adultery is justification for divorce.
Both mental and physical infidelity are reasons for divorce in the Bible since the Bible holds that if one conducts adultery in one‘s heart, they already have done it in their flesh.
The fact that infidelity is a rightful divorce foundation does not mean it should be taken casually, however.
Committing adultery is a grave sin against God’s design for marriage.
Abandonment
Abandonment means being physically apart from someone, such as in a divorce.
A marriage is terminated if one partner leaves the other by abandoning the marital domicile.
The abandoned partner can choose to do nothing and let the person go. We interpret this to mean the abandoned partner is morally and spiritually free.
Nothing ties the abandoned partner back to the other partner, and the deserted partner is not obligated to seek a divorce or remarry if they choose.
Suppose the abandonment takes the shape of a divorce petition filed by one partner but not the other.
In that case, the deserted partner need not feel obligated to try to save the marriage before signing the divorce papers.
We should place no guilt or humiliation on the abandoned partner. One way to obey God’s command to be at peace is to concede that your marriage has ended.
With good intentions, some psychologists and pastors have used the definition of desertion too widely.
Addiction, mental disease, incarceration, and cruelty have all been cited as potential causes of such suffering.
However, that does not fit the scriptural meaning of desertion; unless such trials constitute abuse, which is another matter entirely.
Abuse
According to one reading of Matthew 19:8, a husband can divorce his wife if doing so will safeguard her from his abuse.
Then, what are the alternatives for a victim of abuse? It all relies on the type of maltreatment being committed.
Reconciliation procedures ought to be employed if the mistreatment is not illegal. Have a quiet, respectful conversation.
Seek official or casual therapy if your partner declines to hear you out. Take it to church if the partner still won’t listen.
Biblical teaching is unambiguous: submit to the authority of civic officials in cases of bodily or sexual assault (Romans 13:1-2):
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.”
Abusive behavior of any kind, including sexual, is illegal. Reporting an act of violence may be mandatory, depending on where you live. It is strongly recommended in every jurisdiction.
A sufferer of domestic violence and the family unit both benefit from the protections afforded by the civic officials God has established among us.
God approves of punishing a violent partner with prison time.
Irreconcilable Differences
The phrase “irreconcilable differences” is frequently used by divorcing couples to explain their decision to end their union.
Since they believe their differences are irreparable, they want to dissolve their marriage permanently.
The problems can be minor at times. Some couples end up divorced or separated because they can’t afford to purchase each other the luxury goods they want.
You may have heard of a pair that split up because they rooted for opposing professional sports teams.
Problems are typically more severe. One partner’s substance abuse may be causing tension in the household.
Sometimes, one spouse can be a deadbeat and cause financial problems for everyone else. This could be because one spouse is overly forceful and frightens the other.
One partner is not uncommon to be extremely critical of the other, leaving the victim feeling degraded and disregarded.
These seemingly impossible issues are usually quite severe and can cause significant harm to the other person’s emotions or sense of self-worth.
Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t work out, but everyone would be better off if they could divorce and start over.
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